Constance Johnson Thayer, 1932-2011

My mother, Connie Thayer, passed quietly from this life last Sunday evening, June 26, in Wallingford, Connecticut; my dad, Clinton, at her bedside. The two were holding hands. This ended a five-year battle with cancer and a three-round bout with Guillain-Barre syndrome, a severe and painful paralysis which had kept Mom in hospital under a grim prognosis for the past three months. Family who had gathered, and who had been visiting and sharing and speaking with her throughout the weekend, and who had minutes earlier said their "good nights" and had then set out to depart, were promptly recalled.

"The Sitting Room Bleachers" -- Dad's and Mom's chairs (L to R) in their Ashlar Village condo (Thanksgiving 2008). Books, snacks, companionship, and Red Sox baseball. (Wide-screen TV out of view, Connie's string bass on far right.)

Connie and Clint celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary earlier this month on June 2, and her 79th birthday on June 5. The two had met at college in Rochester, New York. By the time my younger sister was born, they had established their home in Waterford, Connecticut, where they raised their family. We attended the First Baptist Church of New London and the Flanders Baptist and Community Church in East Lyme. In 2008, after more than half a century in Waterford, Connie and Clint retired to the Masonic community of Ashlar Village in Wallingford.

Born Constance Claire Johnson in Saint Charles, Minnesota, Connie was the first-born of George Dean Johnson and Stella "Pat" Johnson (nee Seeman). The young family moved to the Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights, Illinois, and ultimately numbered five children: four sons and Connie.

Early on, Connie assisted her mother in the home-schooling of one brother who was severely hampered by what would nowadays be called dyslexia. She also developed a musical passion for, of all things, the bass violin. Chicago commuters of the 1940s could encounter Connie wrestling an instrument larger than herself on and off "The L" as the youngster made her way to lessons and performances.

Connie and her string bass went on to the summer music camp at Interlochen (Michigan), the Rochester (New York) Philharmonic Orchestra, and the Eastman School of Music where they met the undergraduate trumpeter from New London destined to be my father. Dad later secured a billet with the Coast Guard Band at the Academy in New London. Once we were settled in the adjoining town of Waterford, Mom and her bass set out anew with the Eastern Connecticut Symphony Orchestra, the Pfizer Players, the Goodspeed Opera House, and with a combo at The Hundred Acres (now Cherrystone's Restaurant) in Old Lyme.

As we two kids were growing up, Mom increasingly resumed her studies and undertook a teaching career. She did substitute teaching for the Norwich Diocese and taught at the Pleasant Valley School in Groton. After many years, Mom achieved her doctorate and took up working with special needs students at Waterford High School whence she retired in 2008.

Besides their collaboration in the orchestra and other musical endeavors, Mom and Dad were also active together in Eastern Star. They served as Worthy Matron and Worthy Patron, and Mom as Grand Officer. And almost too cute to mention has been the couple's sweet co-evolution over the past dozen or so seasons as fans of Boston Red Sox baseball.

Teacher, musician, homemaker, and mother; Connie quietly, implicitly, and resolutely strove to excel in each of her callings. As I here reflect on my mom's journey through life, I am reminded how it is said that "the truly great ones just make it look easy."

You can indeed count Connie in that number.

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Statement by my sister, Patricia "Patti" Dean Backes (nee Thayer)
Email entitled "Mom"
Tuesday, June 28, 2011 12:41 PM

Hello everyone,

Mom passed peacefully on Sunday evening as she held my dad's hand. She was an amazing woman to the end and she truly showed us how to die with dignity, love and compassion. She had been transferred back into rehab after her last treatment for Guillain Barre syndrome. Each treatment that she endured had left her a little weaker until finally the paralysis took away her ability to breathe. She was with the entire family constantly from Friday afternoon until her passing. Our time together this past weekend was a gift. We prayed, laughed, told stories, listened to music and watched the Red Sox together (!) during those last several days. On Sunday afternoon she called us to her side and she said , "It's time for me to go." For the next 5 hours she would wake up and look around to see who was in the room with her. She then called each person individually to her side and said their name, told them goodbye and that she loved them. This happened several times as we stayed by her side. Dad and I were planning to stay into the evening. The rest of the family was leaving and they each said goodnight to Mom. Everyone except Dad left the hospital room. When I returned to join Dad and Mom, she had passed peacefully holding his hand and hearing him tell her that he loved her.

Your love, prayer, phone calls, cards, and concern have held us up over the past several months. Thank you. The last time that we saw Mom smile was on Sunday afternoon when Dad told her that God needed an angel to come up and play bass with all those harpists. I like to think of her joining in the music.....

Much love -
from Patti and the entire family

P.S. We will be planning a memorial service at Flanders Baptist and Community Church [map] either on July 22 or 23. [Update: Saturday, July 23 at 1:00 P.M.] Fulton-Theroux Funeral Home in New London is handling the arrangements. Her obituary should be in The Day newspaper this coming Sunday. [Link updated]